The Defibrillator

  • Hi I am McBeal


    Boy was McBeal happy finding the defibrillator (I am McBeal). McBeal is ready to massage all the broken hearts in Chernarus. Would the defibrillator be safe on conscious people?

    The label says the following: "However, be warned: if the Defibrillator is used in this manner, not only will it render the person unconscious, it will kill them. Cause of death is a weak, irregular pulse"

    McBeal does not read. Time for a field experiment.


    McBeal asks a friend to use the defibrillator on McBeal

    McBeal immediately rendered unconscious by the defibrillator.

    McBeal hears everything around him, apart from speech.

    McBeal periodically opens his eyes, being able to see people trying to safe him (epiphrine, morphine, several defibrillator charges), but to no avail.

    McBeal has been laying unconscious for over an hour. Eyes still open periodically. Still being able to hear all sound, apart from speech.

    McBeals' blood stays stable.

    McBeal can get fed while in this permanent state.


    Conclusion: McBeal has locked-in syndrome. Defibrillator not safe on conscious people.


    Thank you for reading, I hope you learned something today.


    McBeal from the Nice Guys Rescue Team